U of A School of Law dean shares her domestic-abuse story
Posted on Wednesday, October 17, 2007
BENTONVILLE - Cynthia Nance wanted to share her story in hopes of giving other people the courage to escape abusive relationships.
Nance, the dean of the University of Arkansas School of Law, was a guest speaker Tuesday at a Domestic Violence Awareness Rally at the Benton County Courthouse.
The event was held to recognize October as Domestic Violence Awareness Month. The rally was sponsored by the Benton County Women's Shelter and the Benton County Prosecuting Attorney's Victim Witness Assistance Program.
Two hundred fifteen American flags were placed in a grassy area near the courthouse's steps. Each flag represents a domestic-violence homicide in the past 10 years in Arkansas.
Arkansas is one of the top three states in domestic-abuse homicides, Nance said. There are currently 17 such cases in the state, Nance said.
According to information on the women's shelter's Web site, a woman is beaten every 15 seconds and domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women between ages 15 and 44 in the United States - more than car accidents, muggings and rapes combined.
Nance said she was once a domestic-violence statistic.
"I was one of those people," Nance said.
She wanted to share her story in hopes that others would read or hear it and know that it's possible to get out of an abusive relationship.
She remembered being at a wedding reception with her boyfriend. He left her alone at the reception to smoke cigars with his "buddies. "Another man approached her and asked her to dance and she accepted.
Her first vivid memory of the incident is being slapped full force as she was driving 65 mph.
They were driving home, and he asked her with whom she had been dancing. He then slapped her and berated her with insults of "whore "and "slut. "
She pulled over on the shoulder of the highway and he slapped her again. He continued hurling the insults at her.
The abuse continued for six years. She was choked, thrown into walls and onto the floor. The slaps and insults continued.
She remembered being told," I should kill you, but you're not worth it."
She finally gained the courage to leave. She credits her friends with standing by her and giving her needed support.
"I want you to know you can leave," Nance said. "There are people out there who can help, and your life will be so much better. I've been there."
Maria Miller with Catholic Charities in Arkansas said one in four women will experience domestic violence in their lifetime.
Domestic violence affects all ages, genders, races and religions, Miller said.
Miller shared how some immigrants fail to report abusive acts because the perpetrators make the victims believe they will be deported and lose their children if the police become involved.
Lori Joslin, director of the women's shelter, said her organization has served 1, 300 women seeking residential and nonresidential assistance so far this year. Joslin said the number is a 30 percent increase over last year.
"It's not a women's issue," Joslin said. "Domestic violence is a community issue."
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